If you do one thing today please share this post in your stories to help all the mothers and fathers who have lost a child.

October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, and together we can help change the culture of baby loss to one of openness and respect. To honour our babes born sleeping, those we carried but never held, those we held but could not take home, and those who came home, but could not stay.

We are the 1 in 4, we are the faces of pregnancy and infant loss, and today, as every other day, we #honourourbabes. As part of this day, I have shared my story with the @goodmourningpodcast. Please head over to listen to it! ...

My sister is not here. Just a rainbow. I am my Lily’s rainbow. I love you mummy’

Jasper, 2.5 years old. October 2020. The sentence slips from his mouth as I tuck him into bed. My heart stops.

Like a lightening bolt, I understand why parents of previous generations kept their dead babies a secret from siblings.

How do you talk to children about death?

Up until now it has been an adult grief. Now, there is a little voice with big feelings. How the fuck do I navigate it. Do I lie? Shield him?
Instinct says no.

We need to change cultural attitudes to grief. The response to @chrissyteigen loss has made it clear we need to raise children who become adults than can openly share their feelings.

So I promise, my darling
To be truthful
To be age appropriate
To balance fear with hope
To be near.
To help you create a kinder, more accepting world.

Great mission statement, Priyanka. But now I need help. How do YOU actually talk death to your children? Double tap if you gave no clue + please drop your ideas below and share! Every conversation about grief and bay loss helps to change attitudes. Voice by voice. Join me, please. ...

Ignoring the elephant in the room is awkward for everyone.

I experienced this a lot in the beginning after Lily died. But it has happened again recently. It is clear that a lot of people are still struggling with what to say when confronted by death.

I get this. I really do. But here is the secret – just utter 3 words.

'I am sorry.'

Banish the awkward silence, every time.

Ps if you are a business and someone shares this intimate information with you please don’t ignore it – you will lose business. Grievers don’t like going to awkward places.

Double tap if you relate and tag someone who can help share this message! ...

Hubby doesn’t often opt-in for insta photos, and it is no secret that he avoids the instagram spotlight. But our Virgo makes a rare appearance to declare his love for @natchessentials 💖
Contentment right there - cheeky toddler cuddles, and natch-ural and delicious smelling products (just missing a glass of something boozey) 😍 Head to @natchessentials to get a Father’s Day Pack for your best man. ...

What does it feel like to discover your baby has a disability and a terminal diagnosis? It has taken me 3 years to write and I share it now because I want you to know it is ok to feel all these feelings.

While we waited for an official result, I would bargain with god/the universe/ whatever all being power might be listening. ‘I will give you my right arm, or my left foot. Fuck it take all my limbs, just save her’.

I day-dreamed that they were wrong. It would be a miracle, a hospital mix-up.

Diagnosis day: ‘Lily has Miller Dieker Syndrome, she will never walk or talk. She will have seizures and severe delays. We can’t tell you how long she will live. It could be 2 years or ten.’

How to describe the pain?

Think about a knife plunging in and out of your heart. On repeat. Now multiply that pain by a bazillion. Ok, you are getting a little bit closer - but still way off our reality.

I didn’t want anyone to know. The thought of their pity. Pity felt shameful, pity felt guilty.

I had funny feeling - that I knew it would always happen. Deep down, was this my destiny?

But I did not want it. Not this life, not for Lily, not for me. The life of a special needs mum. A mum who won’t see her daughter walk, socialize, who won’t ever have grandchildren. The promise of a future, all gone. It was a grieving.

Maybe it sounds selfish, I wanted so much for my child.

I didn’t know how the other special needs families did it. I do know they are the true heroes walking amongst us.

That knife plunging in and out. A lifetime of it.

So what did I do? I shut down social media. Except for a handful, I stopped seeing people with babies. Every single one of them with their healthy children, complaining about the lack of sleep. I hated them. I hated their healthy, happy, lives.

I wasn’t brave.

That is the truth. It hurt every single day. We made our world small and we lived in the moment, in our bubble of tiny joys, little laughs and massive love.

#disabilityawareness #millerdiekersyndrome #epilepsy #infantilespasms #pediatrics #projectfaceless ...

Jasper ‘smiling’ about his appearance in the newspaper this weekend. Toddler mums know this smile, right? AKA ‘The grimace’ 😬 His natural Smile is perfect but if he knows the camera is on him out pops ‘the grimace’ 😂

We are grateful to @theheraldsun for sprinkling Lily love this weekend. If you would like to support @thelilycalvertfund check out our new partner @four30_babyboutique with 10% of proceeds going to our charity and this week use code LILY10 for an additional 10% off all purchases. ...

Somewhere there is a past you overflowing with so much pride looking at how far you’ve come.

Keeping going beauties. You are doing the things you thought were impossible. You’ve got this. We’ve got this.
📷 @hannah_chapman__________ ...

What the is #challengeaccepted all about? Instagram has looked into the origin of the hashtag, which was reported to have started back in 2016 to raise awarness of cancer. Since then it has also been used in various causes including recently to raise awareness of the terrible rates of femicide in Turkey.
The NY Times reported it was boosted by a US congress woman calling out a fellow representative for sexism last week. But instagram said this current movement can be traced back to a post by Brazilian journalist @anapaulapadraooficial
So there you have it. If you posted this to talk about those women who inspire you, thats great, if you posted it to call out shocking rates of violence against women thats a worthy and important cause too, and if you posted it because it was fun, thats cool too. But wow! See how easy it is to get swept up in a movement without understanding what it is even about? #womensupportingwomen #womenempowerment #challengeaccepted ...